Road Trip Home Part Duex

After cruising over the Beartooth highway, we made it all the way to Bozeman for the night, where Jen had strategically booked us a sweet little B&B just outside town for my Birthday! Way to go, babe! The place was really a house, where a woman had two rooms she let out and made people feel right at home. A cat, a couple of dogs, some horses, and some miniature donkies! The views down the valley to Bozeman were superb, and we just wanted to sit on her porch and watch the sunset forever... We checked out Bozeman and really dug it. Little college town in the middle of nowhere but surrounded by the big boy mountains. Fun year round for those outdoor types. The had a sweet new library that was really well built and attractive in a LEED certified kind of way ; )

When we left Bozeman we made our way up the east side of the rockies, north towards Glacier Park. The rolling hills with their watercolor foregrounds and little red barns sillouhetted against the massive rocky mountains made the day's drive oh so glorious and relaxing. The mass of the range here was quite impressive, and we couldn't stop shooting photos... We arrived at the park and got a nice spot to camp for the night, in time for ANOTHER amazing sunset (How do we forget that this happens every single day?)

The park itself was a trip. One main road through the center called "Going to the Sun Road" because these crazy dudes thought it would be cool to build a road up and over the massive glacier carved valleys and sheer cliff faces of the range. Why not? It'll be a great place for a park someday! they must have thought. Well, it worked! One small road means traffic, but its a place that is so breathtaking, you don't mind at all. Once we found another place to camp for the night, we were free to roam around the rest of the day. Its always stressful to me because it is crowded, and you can't wait till dark to find camping, so we drive out of our way to be staged for the next day. After the tent's up, I can relax and enjoy my time, but before that, I'm a little uptight. Ask Jen.

We picked a dayhike near the pass so as to get up and see some really sick views. We climbed a trail up a stream and into a thin forest, headed for one such view. Not many people on it, as they all were down the road a mile at the visitor's center trailhead. Nice! Up, Up, UP, a couple thousand feet gain, over about 4.5 miles, and despite the huffing and puffing, it only got better and bigger and more breathtaking. To imagine that ice once covered all of it, and then receeded, taking whole sides of mountain with them, leaving unbelievable bowls and faces and exposed rock that drops thousands of feet to maybe a little moraine or lake... What can I say: nature just does it for us. So, we made it to the pass, where the other side was even more amazing (yes its possible) and we sat and stared for a while, played in some late season snow, and teased the marmots with our rocks-not-food game. Well played, sir!

I had hoped that Glacier would be a high point on our trip, as I had always heard the myth of its beauty, and wanted to see her. It was short and sweet, and did not disappoint. I could come back here and hike these trails for weeks, and will someday. Too many twist and turns to never return. So, as a highpoint, and literally the crest of the country, we started our long and ardurous decent from the mountain, out of the park, easing down the western slope and cruising back down to the flat dry lands of the west. Idaho was a quick peek of the panhandle, Spokane was a great little downtown for a snack and some internet, and then we ended up in some weird city in SE Washington where all the hotels were built in the 70's and they all cost $100. Why? Because: where else are you going to stay in the high desert next to a river and the golf course? We felt jipped, but what can you do? We longed for our tent in the forest already...

Next stop was Eugene, OR, where I'm really considering going to grad school. Got accepted, defferred, now i just have to make up my damn mind. So we give it another shot. Jen again finds us a really REALLY nice B&B to top off our trip. We splurged, and end up getting a brand new, first day open, we the first ever guests in a riverside 8000 ft2 home, complete with elevator, jacuzzi tub with light therapy (?) and a gourmet teaching kitchen. Whoa! Score! We blow the budget and stay two night instead of one, and floating the McKenzie river the next day in their kayaks... So nice! Eugene treated us well, with some old friends to visit with, an amazing Saturday Market of hippies and their wares, cute neighborhood we could see ourselves living in, and (unfortunately) an empty Architecture building but a good vibe nonetheless. Made us think: This is doable. We could live here, and the setting was all the more resonant given that we had just got the whole Berkshire groove on for 6 months. The big question remains: What will Jen do for work?? Otherwise, we are looking to Eugene as a place we will be moving to sometime next year. Wait for it.... wait for it....

So, nothing remained on our trip but to come on home, back the Bay Area, back to our old life and seemingly past life of highway traffic and congestion and people people friends and strangers... We've slipped right back in even though we're still couch surfing. We know it, and I've already gotten used to the traffic again. Bridge tolls, now that's another matter! Still catching up with people and visits and dinners, and watching everyone gear up for the Playa. Got a couple leads on jobs and back teaching a class at City College SF. I have to say, there's plenty to do, and tons that calls out. Trails to hike, and mouths to feed. All with a view to our future, maybe in another place, maybe forever, maybe not.

on the road, part 1

(note-you can double click on photos to see them larger) soooo, we left the berkshires saturday 7/11 to make our way cross country. pointed west and teary-eyed. hard to say goodbye, that's for sure, because inside i did not know if i was doing the right thing. and i still don't know. part of me is still there. it was an amazing six months with family. time with my parents, letting them know me as an adult was priceless and being there for them felt right, i was honored, humbled and grateful for all of it. and now, i am back to my "home", amongst friends and the familiar. it is comforting to be where everybody knows your name and know your way around. isn't that home? and because there is always the other side of every feeling i have, (how fun) i also wonder if moving back was moving back? i think subconsciously, i began to detach from this place. because now the question is, do i still live here? in my heart and soul? it is my nature to question. i really got to see that there are many ways to live, many environments and lifestyles to choose...while SF has been where i hung my hat for 16 years and i've loved every minute, 6 months somewhere new really opened my eyes. where is home? i began to see other possibilities...it is often hard to go back once you've walked through a doorway.

ok, so back to our trip! but first i must start off with a story. it is a true story, no one could make this up--i promise. back in the day, when my father was a bowler, he was on a league with some friends. as a special honor, he had a HUGE trophy made in his beloved father's name, for the winner of the tournament. somehow though, the trophy meant so much to him, he ended up keeping it (curious if this meant the winner ended up empty handed?!) and has kept it in his possession for the past 30 some odd years. until now. until casey and i are about to leave MA and the car is packed to the gills, and my dad turns to me and says, i really want you to have this. this most cherished trophy that is about 4 feet tall (ok, i only slightly embellish here, but it helps the story). really dad, i can't, it means so much to you, how could i possibly take this 4 feet tall trophy with me across the entire country?? (let alone, where would we put it should we arrive in SF with a 4 foot trophy???) but, i could see in his eyes, he was serious, and i could not refuse him. i find it impossible to refuse him anything and honestly, it really did mean something to him for me to take it. so, with some rope and a sense of humor, we strapped the sucker to the roof and headed on our way.

i have to say, that riding in a car with a large 1970's gold bowling trophy attached to your roof attracts quite some attention. tollbooth takers, gas station attendants and tourists marveled at the sight. not every day you see this. what's it for, they'd ask? casey always replied with something witty, like "Oh, I just won the East Coast Junior Championships!", or "I could let it go for a good price!" And we offered the award to those we felt worthy, but surprisingly, no one accepted!!

ok, so now i'll talk about the trip, really! first we visited our manatee friend, big tom in rochester. and boy, are we glad we did. tom is a brilliant fabric artist and every room in his house is an adventure in textures and patterns! not to mention the throne room-check that out!! gorgeous, tom. you are so talented and such a beautiful soul.

then we hit chicago, where we heard styx play in millenium park, so random and fun! we hit madison, wi, not a bad little college town at all. really good nepalese food! after seeing days and days of cornfields and finding just the right campsites along the way, we arrived in south dakota, so we could check out badlands, which is like a smaller grand canyon, or canyonlands. very pretty!

but that was only an appetizer, because when we reached the tetons after driving through picturesque wyoming, i knew we reached the mother lode. at first you think the tetons are only just these huge snowy mountains spread out in front of your eyes, but the national park is so much more. lakes and wildflowers and elk and valleys that go on and on. we hiked and boated and watched incredible sunsets. spending time here was unforgettable. i hope to return someday.

i hunted for moose, but they were oh so elusive!

after the tetons and more incredible landscapes wooshing by the car windows, greens, yellows and blues (all i wanted was to paint what i saw), we arrived at yellowstone.

i had heard earlier that yellowstone is like LA with mountains, so wasn't sure what to think of going there peak season, but we had really good timing and great luck getting in and through the parks main attractions, avoiding some rainy weather along the way. my favorite was the geothermal pools in unbelievable hues-oranges, yellows, greens, turquoises.

i definitely reached my color quota that day!! spectacular steaming pools of watercolors. there is nothing more vibrant that what mother nature provides. then we waited for old faithful, and while it was about 20 minutes off schedule (old un-faithful), the crowds still delighted in watching it gush into the air. but the best was yet to come.

we were advised by many, to take the northeast exit out of the park and take beartooth highway. it leaves wyoming, dips into montana and then back out again. along the way, you climb to 11,000 feet! lakes, rolling hills lead into majestic snowy ranges - total wilderness except for this wild, curvy, zig-zaggy, switch-back road.

there were cyclists, bikers, cars, motorhomes and tour buses, somehow making their way up and over this amazing stretch of road. the most beautiful i've seen anywhere in the world. i highly recommend it! this remote area, would otherwise only be attainable by backpacking, and the views were to die for.

this is the end of part 1. stay tuned for part 2, when we fall in love with montana and then make our final descent back to the bay! feels wonderful to be welcomed home by friends and eat at our favorite restaurants and walk our well worn trails....it is old, it is new...it is a nice time of seeing with new eyes. and to all those who i wished i could have seen back east, or spent more time with, i hope to be back again soon, as my heart now lies on both coasts. love to all, jen

homeward bound

well, in just a matter of days, we load up the car and hit the road. i can't believe it. our time here went so fast it's crazy. in many ways i am ready to depart. in so many ways, i am not ready. this place has infused a love of country living that is palpable. a life amongst more trees than people, an easy pace and friendly locals, of lakes, farmhouses, small cape-style homes and family. all the houses have stars on them, how could i NOT love living here?! everything is so vivid, i've actually sat and marveled for hours at the fluffiness of the clouds, and also had lightening strike closer and louder than i've ever experienced! i am not sure how we'll feel about the bay area once we arrive, it is a place so familiar and dear to us, and yet i know we will arrive changed by this experience.

it will be hard for me to tear myself away from my family. i really love being here with them and being a part of their lives. we seem to have merged in a beautiful way that i've always longed for. i am so thankful that i had this time to create these lasting memories.

and so, with six months of incredible experiences imbedded in our hearts, we will venture out across america to return to SF...stopping in badlands, yellowstone, glacier national park, washington and back down to the bay. i am looking forward to these 2 weeks on the road. vacation. freedom. playing. nola is staying at my brother's place in texas while we relocate, so this time, we don't have to worry about her while on the road. thank you marty & theirrie!!

i hope my parents are able to manage ok. is it foolish to think end of life can be entirely what you make it? it looks hard and full of challenges that i can't even really imagine. i can't stress enough: sense of humor and hobbies and healthy living!!! i hope that if i immerse my life with things i love to do and surround myself with people i care for and take good care of my body and mind, growing old might possibly be full of purpose. we'll see how that goes!! part of me wants to believe that if you treasure every moment and value every experience, it is all part of your path, necessary steps along the way, no matter what age. maybe aging does not have to just represent loss. rather a deepening of oneself, as we marinate in our wisdom and our journey and our bodies. so much to say on this topic, as we are all aging a bit every day...this is our truth.

our eta is around 7/26 to be back in the bay, and we just found out that our old corte madera cottage is available again...so maybe it's a sign! :)

thank you for coming along for the ride and will post again with stories from our cross country trip. if there are any must-see's along the northern route - send them our way!! love to all xoxo jen

Storm King

Just catchin up by posting some photos from our trip to Storm King, an outdoor art & sculpture park in the Catskills. My main goal was to see the famous Andy Goldsworthy stone wall, which did not disappoint, but Maya Lin, who designed the Vietnam Memorial, installed a Wavefield, which was also pretty darn cool. There is nothing better than when nature and art intersect, (as if we could separate them). It was a gorgeous park with lots to see...I loved it!

adam's high school graduation party

here's some pics from my nephew adams big day...and i got to make the centerpieces-giant fortune cookies-so fun! it was all good until lior demolished casey at arm wrestling!!

Creations From the East

Hello there from Casey.  While its been a while since I've written on here, there's good reason why.  I have actually been busy with some things here, keeping life moving, making art and craft and money.  I've been working part time in an architect's office (www.danabixby.com), learning the ropes of running a small architecture business (which is a WHOLE lot of paperwork), organizing and updating her material library, and helping with the design of a small Montessori school near us. I realize just how invaluable my building experience is when it comes to this world, and while I still want to someday run my own studio, I'm starting to question the viability of a formal education, apart from the personal and professional connections I could make. The proof is in the doing, so that's exactly what I'm doing: Doing!  I've also become somewhat knowledgeable about staining and dyeing concrete floors, with a little test project of a 35 ft2 hearth.  Fun!

When I'm not in the office, I've been lucky enough to have a carpentry patron in the form of our friend Eilene Shine down in Hoboken.  I've gotten to know the place pretty well, spending a week at a time down there helping her with her rental apartment.  What started off as a few odd jobs turned into replacing a back deck, which then turned into remodeling the kitchen (new cabinets and some electrical work).  Hopefully she'll be renting that sucker out soon!  I've also gotten to see my friends from Oklahoma that have settled in NYC, which is always a treat to hang with people that you used to see at grade school recess...

On my own, to quell the urge to create, I returned to a short story that I started after Jen and I got back from Asia.  It's about a guy from Oklahoma that winds up running away from the Tsunami, and dealing with his estrangement from family and self.  I worked it up to about 20 pages and entered it into some competitions.  It could be just the beginning of a longer book, but for now its shelved.  If you're interested I'll send it to you.

I also just this week completed an entry for a Bay Area design competition called Rising Tides, dealing with solutions for rising sea level over the next 100 years.  My entry is a relocation plan for our old town of Corte Madera, which is mostly built on a tidal marshland.  The buildings look like topographic ships made of modified oil platforms and shipping containers, donated by a busted (as in legally, some day) Chevron.  The main thrust has to do with environmental justice and training underserved populations to build it.  Come on big money!

I've also been reading tons of magazines and books, including Rolling Stone, Dwell, Architecture Review, Metropolis, Outside and the occasional Healthy Eating that Jen gets.  Books include The Backyard Homestead and Deep Economy, and an old anthology of Modern Poetry.  Not to mention blogs galore and all the crazy links that get posted on my Facebook page (thanks David!) and cool lectures from Ted.com.  Oh, and Netflicks of course.  Recently Jen and I made centerpieces for her nephew's high school graduation party.  Cool paper fortune cookies with clever sayings on them (jen's idea) and some colorful chinese take-out boxes with actual fortune cookies in them.  I got a whole case (way too many) for $15. These kids need all the fortune they can get!

I'm starting to get excited about our roadtrip across the country, taking the northern route that neither of us has been on before.  It startles me how I could have missed out on so much of America and still seen so much.  This place is just too big!  Can't wait for the Rockies to explode out of the plains.  Then I'll know we're back in the west, where, with any luck, we'll feel we "belong".  Then on down to the Bay, where friends await, and we'll see once again if this is home, or if we've been totally spoiled by the beauty and peace of a country life, and we'll have to reassess where and when to call it our own.  But, I guess if I want to get into Berkeley (again, wondering if school is really the key to success) and get that sense of community and purpose back by building a house and a garden and connecting to those we love and will love, then we just gotta make it work.  Wanna help?  See you there!

a few short videos

here are some snippets from our life here...

catch-up

howdy! gosh, time is flying and we have not been blogging! a lot of my time has been absorbed by my parents and their needs, so casey and i haven't quite been exploring as much lately or writing as much. things seem to be changing rapidly with my parents. their relationship has been altered by age and their personalities are shifting, so it really is a whole new ballgame.

we have been trying to get organized, rearrange responsibilities and set up systems to make it easier on them. we referee when we need to, talk them down when they need calming and try to be the voice of reason. there is much tension and misunderstanding. i can see how confusing things can get and personally, it worries me a little to think this could happen to me and casey someday!

so, while we have many, many pictures to post of some wonderful spring bbqs we've had and stories of great friend's visits, i am not quite able to get these all loaded right now. the fact remains, we have one month left to go unless it becomes clear we need to stay on a spell longer.

we'll see how it goes...we're making really good progress getting organized, but there will still be some dancing to do. today we're going to talk to the head nurse at kimball farms to see what care is available to them and if it makes sense they move into the next level. while it sounds great, this place is also filled with some mentally challenged patients, who clearly are way more incapacitated than my parents. it is a bit scary to think of them surrounded by people like this. and yet, it is becoming more clear they need more assistance than where they are now. so what do we do? my dad really does not want to go, he likes his apartment. it makes me so sad that he may need to be somewhere he doesn't want to be. but it is too hard on my mom for things to stay how they are. there will need to be compromise (and a small miracle) for this to go smoothly.

more to come. just a quick note to let you all know we are here, doing our best to provide support though there is less time to keep you all updated on the fun stuff! like my birthday, which was amazing!! i spent the day with my family and they surprised me with a gift certificate to Kripalu, the famous yoga retreat center here. I can't wait to go spend an entire day there....I'm going to need it!! love to all of you...we'll catch up again soon. xoxoxoxox

i like green...

unobstructed beauty

in a time when so much joy is obstructed by a failing economy and dwindling finances and now swine flu(!@#$!)... we fail to realize there are still blessings in the world. being here, i do feel somewhat removed or sheltered from life's harsher realities because my immediate surroundings demand my attention so often every day. it is sort of like being in a bubble of beauty...and if i could somehow capture it and share it with all of you, i would! i now know that the bay area holds no monopoly on beauty.

i truly believe spending time somewhere beautiful changes our perspective, fills us with hope and renews our spirit. with spring FULLY sprung, flowers, trees, bees, birds, frogs, bunnies and all growing things, are bountiful. nature in springtime is unstoppable! the gardens here on bob's property are bursting, the trees all blooming and the hills green and lush. it relaxes me, bringing balance to any fears or anxieties that might crop up. i hope you will find some quiet time to spend in nature and that it fills you with peace during these uncertain times.

with only 2 months left, we treasure every moment fiercely. borrowing my sister-in-law's motorcycle (thank you thierrie!), and donned in our new helmets, we now tour a new area every day, viewing country life as we cruise along. the history of this area is felt deeply in every rickety paint-peeled barn, built hundreds of years ago, the well-kept farmhouses that dot the area, and the crisp, tidy, colonial charm of the architecture. large stone churches and arches, mossy rock walls demarkating property lines and perimeters, rolling hills undulating toward the mountains. and every so often, we run into horses, cows, sheep, llama and buffalo. (well, not literally run into)

reminders of my childhood are everywhere. being on the east coast is like walking down memory lane: the bright yellow forsythia that lined the yard of my childhood home, the so red cardinals, lightening and thunderstorms, warm nights, jimmies on black raspberry ice cream..oh the list goes on and on! meeting up with some friends from high school and college reminded me of who i was when i was young. parts of myself that i had long ago forgotten. these visits have been priceless and a reminder of all the growing pains i had while still learning who i was. i had a youth full of experimentation and boundary-pushing. somehow, gratefully, my parents still talk to me!

family life is great. time with my sister michele has been so wonderful-when she left for college in 1976, i was 9 years old. since then it's only been sporatic visits, until now. it has been really rewarding spending time together as adults. and soooo much fun getting to know her husband eiran, and their sons adam, lior and matan-they are super cool, i adore them. i love how unique each of them are. we all convene weekly for family dinners at kimball farms with the folks. my mom is managing her sanity and her ailing memory. this woman's spirit still bright and sense of humor keen in every moment. always an inspiration to me. my dad is doing fair, losing weight but tries to power through the day best he can. naps are frequent. he is enjoying our visits. i see such a bond of trust that has developed between him and casey, it is a gift to see their relationship flourish. yesterday, we took my dad to the bowling alley. he is having a hard time walking, so he sat and coached us. his magic words led to more pins falling, more so with casey, than with me, but at least we both scored over 100. not quite the 185 average my dad had in his day! it was nice to have him experience the sights, smells and sounds of a place he so loved so dearly in his life.

we recently spent a week in nyc, visiting old friends, seeing musuems, chilling in central park with the coopman, seeing some shows (fun!) and eating yummy food and even a day at the jersey shore. staying at my friend fenners in hoboken, we returned each night exhausted and full of city life! it feels like the city is bursting at the seams with people, lights, action. and the pace beyond fast. have i gone soft, or what?! just walking down the street made me feel like i was on speed! well...maybe i'm not quite the urban girl i used to be. after an incredible time visiting with dear old friends, some i hadn't seen since the 80's!, we were ready to return to the country. and so, here we are reaping the rewards for having survived the winter...as a local friend said, we've earned this profusion of new life. the sunshine, the birdsongs. so for those moments when we get swept up by the intricacies of living in today's world...i invite you to make time for a walk in the sun, a moment in the sand or even, sitting mindfully with a healthy meal. where is the beauty in your world...where do you look for reminders of what is positive and thriving and alive?

hope to hear from you soon...wishing you all well!
with gratitude, jen

all things revealed; part one and two

we've been through the snow season, then the mud season and now into the rainy season. wonderful bursts of thunder and breath-stopping lightening. now that the snow has melted, i now have two new favorite discoveries: i was walking down my street, i heard this loud cacophony of frogs, only to find there is a pond right down in the belly of the meadow - who knew?! it is wonderful and now each night, the frogs serenade us. this is the sound of the sivananda yoga farm. it is the sound of warm summer evenings and camping. it is a welcome addition to our country life. i can't wait for crickets and fireflies! the frogs seemed to have appeared out of no where, and were bouncing all over the street last night, i think we managed to dodge them in the car-where did they all come from?!

last night, after dinner, we walked up this gravel road, around the side of laurel lake and followed it to a private beach around back. it was late dusk, and there was mist floating above the water and a light drizzle and no one in sight. we stood at the edge of the lake, in the almost darkness, and i swear i never felt so peaceful. i can't wait to go back there! now that the lake is melted, it is kayak time!! if the weather breaks tomorrow, we will try to go for it.

we watch the weather mellow and all once frozen things zing to life. the bulbs are all pushing through the soil, the grass is getting green. obviously, we love our surroundings and exploring every inch of it. we are now midway through our visit. the weeks are passing by quickly. i see my parents every other day and have observed their dance. i really see myself in both of them, and both of them in me. they are wonderful to experience and am enjoying every minute of being close to them. i always felt one step off-beat with my family, or them with me...as if we weren't ever quite in sync. maybe just perception, but it has always been around family when i felt my own uniqueness the most. but as we explore eachother, i believe we are finding understanding and finding the places where we intersect, as relatives and as people. this is priceless beyond words.

i find the most important thing, especially toward the end of life, but always, really, is compassion. we may not understand what drives one another, but there can always be kindness. i feel endless compassion for my parents. i see frustration and impatience between them, though i think its human nature at this stage. despite this, i see them being who they are, doing their best with the circumstances they have. while it could be easy to criticize, it is hard to say we would behave any different at their age. and they are quite remarkable in their own way. and when we all laugh together, or share a story, or witness our own humanity, it is magic.

there are three more months of our scheduled time here...so much more to absorb of this place, it's openness, the expanse of space and mountains and lakes, and of the people in my family that are so treasured to me. i know this is already a place i don't want to leave...and yet, i know there is another life waiting out there for casey and i to begin again. if only i can be in two places at once.


i'll let casey continue with the rest of our story, and all else that has been 'revealed'. am hoping that you are all well and enjoying your lives. am missing you all!!! xoxo




All Things Revealed, Part Two:


While we've been loving the discovery of this part of the country, I've also been absorbed with what comes next. I've heard back from all four schools that I applied to, and I was happily accepted by two: Oregon and CCA in San Francisco. Berkeley didn't take me, which was my first choice due to the quality and the price. CCA is equally amazing program, but the price is off the charts. Oregon is a good program, mid-priced, but comes with a hidden cost: moving to Eugene.


A big thing that has been revealed to Jen and I through all this is that the Bay Area is our Home. It's what we know, where our community is, and where we envision ourselves growing old and living our life out. We love going away and traveling and seeing new places for long periods (in case you haven't noticed!), but we always relish coming Home, to the Bay Area. This realization has driven a hard decision, based on future struggles due to indebtedness. But if there's a place where I'd have to hustle to make it, and be tapped in to the movements to better our life and the environment, the Bay is the place to do it! No?


So, the plan is set: Our lease is up at the end of June here, and we know now that we are traveling the width of the country once again, ending up at Oaktown. My plan is to try and keep as many options open as possible. I'm going to start at CCA in the summer, for an intensive 3 week session. After that, I might be taking a "leave of absence" from the program for a year, giving me time to make/find/borrow/steal monies enough to afford CCA. I might also reapply to Berkeley and give it another shot. This gives Jen the opportunity to work for better wages, continue her journey in nutrition and community, and who knows: we may even get into the housing market while the gettin's good!


Through all of this I've also discovered something about myself that I wasn't sure about: Architecture is definitely the course of my life's work. I find myself getting sucked more and more into its world, the immense opportunity to design a better world and the people that are well on their way, the lessons to learn, the real looming threat of climate change that we too readily ignore for the sake of its reality. Humans are great at Head-in-Sand action. Perhaps we are wired to dismiss threats until they are right upon us. Not to say we didn't build defenses against the lions on the plains, but we didn't run until they broke through the walls... Same goes for sea level rise and CO2 emissions. Economic Collapse... all that. We'll deny its happening until its happened and then look around surprised we were caught off guard. I feel that I can see enough now to know that I must keep at it, until we adapt, survive, and thrive in This Life!

Debt Dilemma

My life right now is a waiting game.  Waiting to hear back from schools to then decide where I'm going to spend the next three years.  Once we know, we can plan the next stage of our life.  We are thinking more and more it will be back in the Bay Area, as I've been accepted to California College of the Arts in SF.  A fantastic school with an awesome architecture program.  I should be ecstatic!  Why am I not?  Well, its a private art school that will run me a little over 30 K a year for 3 years... that's 3 times 30...equals a whole lotta dough, and a lot of interest to boot!

So I'm consumed with weighing the options of that being my best shot (if Berkeley doesn't come through... what's taking them so long!!) and wondering if its wise to go for it, damn the debt, and work my ass off afterwards to eternally pay it back.  I mean, that's the American way no?  The price I have to pay for quality education and the chance to move ahead in life.  Now, in a perfect world where the economy isn't tanking and I don't lie awake at night thinking the free market system is finally crashing and I should concentrate on growing food and building a home for the long term goal of sustainable old age, I think maybe the future is nothing but rainbows and high-paying commissions for sustainable architecture, and I'd have no dilemma at all.  But we all know that's not the case and the future is tentative at best.  Now, 3 years from now, this current crisis could all be a distant memory, or if history is our teacher, forgotten altogether, and we'll be on to the next bubble of business and profit$.  In that case, I should definitely go for it!

I know a lot of you are reading this thinking: Hell, I have waaaay more debt than this guy, and I'm making it.  House, car, school, saving for kid's school, etc.  Suck it up!  Join the club and get on with it.  OK, admittedly I've long lived with a philosophy that big debt is bad and the current form of slavery, or at least indentured servitude, and Jen has never had debt and we enjoy a certain freedom because of it.  What is lost and what is gained from debt?  From the living today on the hopes of tomorrow's earnings.  A scary time to do the math, I know, and no one (including and especially those in charge) know what the hell the world will look like in 3 or 5 years.  Do you?  If you are reading this, please comment and tell me your opinion, any advice, or your experiences living with/under/through indebtedness.  Roll the dice with me...

Casey

photo gallery

just getting around to posting some more photos of our apartment and the people we are getting to spend time with these days...