Debt Dilemma

My life right now is a waiting game.  Waiting to hear back from schools to then decide where I'm going to spend the next three years.  Once we know, we can plan the next stage of our life.  We are thinking more and more it will be back in the Bay Area, as I've been accepted to California College of the Arts in SF.  A fantastic school with an awesome architecture program.  I should be ecstatic!  Why am I not?  Well, its a private art school that will run me a little over 30 K a year for 3 years... that's 3 times 30...equals a whole lotta dough, and a lot of interest to boot!

So I'm consumed with weighing the options of that being my best shot (if Berkeley doesn't come through... what's taking them so long!!) and wondering if its wise to go for it, damn the debt, and work my ass off afterwards to eternally pay it back.  I mean, that's the American way no?  The price I have to pay for quality education and the chance to move ahead in life.  Now, in a perfect world where the economy isn't tanking and I don't lie awake at night thinking the free market system is finally crashing and I should concentrate on growing food and building a home for the long term goal of sustainable old age, I think maybe the future is nothing but rainbows and high-paying commissions for sustainable architecture, and I'd have no dilemma at all.  But we all know that's not the case and the future is tentative at best.  Now, 3 years from now, this current crisis could all be a distant memory, or if history is our teacher, forgotten altogether, and we'll be on to the next bubble of business and profit$.  In that case, I should definitely go for it!

I know a lot of you are reading this thinking: Hell, I have waaaay more debt than this guy, and I'm making it.  House, car, school, saving for kid's school, etc.  Suck it up!  Join the club and get on with it.  OK, admittedly I've long lived with a philosophy that big debt is bad and the current form of slavery, or at least indentured servitude, and Jen has never had debt and we enjoy a certain freedom because of it.  What is lost and what is gained from debt?  From the living today on the hopes of tomorrow's earnings.  A scary time to do the math, I know, and no one (including and especially those in charge) know what the hell the world will look like in 3 or 5 years.  Do you?  If you are reading this, please comment and tell me your opinion, any advice, or your experiences living with/under/through indebtedness.  Roll the dice with me...

Casey

photo gallery

just getting around to posting some more photos of our apartment and the people we are getting to spend time with these days...

360 view

for those of you who might have missed this on facebook....here is a short video of what we see everyday, taken about a month ago...enjoy! we miss you and would love to hear from you soon. muchlove, jen

Could it be....Spring?

They say winter isn't over just yet, but we've had some glorious sunny weather that has melted most of the snow; at first, I was sad the snow was gone because it was how I related to my surroundings, the blanket of white. But now, the plants are peeking out of the ground and the animals seem to be rejoicing in this warmer reprieve... I even saw a bunny frolicking about the other day. Oh joy, it must be Spring!

I, too, am ready to come out of hibernation. For the first time, we donned down vests instead of parkas, and headed out on foot to find the Lee Reservoir. We walked down the street, past the flowing Housatonic River, over the bridge and then followed the creek upstream. It is nice to see rushing water again and hear the sounds of nature reawakening.

At the very top of the hill, we stumbled upon Leahey Farm, started in the early 1800s and has been in the same family ever since. They have cows and chickens and horses. They raise healthy, chemical free beef, and wonderful green blue eggs, which we were gifted with-so nice! They are about our age and doing everything they can to improve the quality of the soil naturally and be organic farmers and spread the word of their farm products locally.

They were wonderful to meet and it is nice to know there are people here who care about the land, preserving it and making a sustainable farm work, which is not easy in this day and age. I will make them some muffins and drop them over to thank them for the eggs, seems mighty country-friendly-like, dontcha think?

Their black and white dog escorted us the rest of the way, past their farm and straight up to the reservoir. He seemed to know just where to go....running ahead, and then waiting for us to catch up. As we neared further into the forest, the snow got thicker and the wind did pick up some, but we finally made it to the top to find the reservoir still frozen over, but an unbelievable view of the valley below. We even were able to spot our farmhouse all the way across many many acres of meadow, off in the distance. It is a beautiful place, this Berkshires...I can see it as a place that is easy to live, with kind people and a connection to nature and the arts that is strong. Our time here may be limited, but for me at least, it is so enriching to be here. Especially, in the quality of time I am getting with my family.

I am drinking this all in, trying to be useful, of service and be a good listener. I have enjoyed every moment so far...I think after 2 months, we are finding our rhythm together. Casey, of course, is a superstar and so nurturing, I could not ask for a more caring soul to walk this life with. And not only is he gentle, he is smart too....he's already been accepted to 2 out of 4 schools so far!! We're waiting to hear back from the other two, one of them Berkeley, his first choice school. Keep fingers crossed!! I am so proud of him.

And for now, I am present to the longer days, the feeling of all life waking up.... I had forgotten how special the change of seasons are....even Nola is exploring outside now too. We hope your Spring brings a renewed sense of wellbeing and vitality and that you too, are enjoying this soul-stirring cycle of the seasons. What seeds are you planting?