all things revealed; part one and two

we've been through the snow season, then the mud season and now into the rainy season. wonderful bursts of thunder and breath-stopping lightening. now that the snow has melted, i now have two new favorite discoveries: i was walking down my street, i heard this loud cacophony of frogs, only to find there is a pond right down in the belly of the meadow - who knew?! it is wonderful and now each night, the frogs serenade us. this is the sound of the sivananda yoga farm. it is the sound of warm summer evenings and camping. it is a welcome addition to our country life. i can't wait for crickets and fireflies! the frogs seemed to have appeared out of no where, and were bouncing all over the street last night, i think we managed to dodge them in the car-where did they all come from?!

last night, after dinner, we walked up this gravel road, around the side of laurel lake and followed it to a private beach around back. it was late dusk, and there was mist floating above the water and a light drizzle and no one in sight. we stood at the edge of the lake, in the almost darkness, and i swear i never felt so peaceful. i can't wait to go back there! now that the lake is melted, it is kayak time!! if the weather breaks tomorrow, we will try to go for it.

we watch the weather mellow and all once frozen things zing to life. the bulbs are all pushing through the soil, the grass is getting green. obviously, we love our surroundings and exploring every inch of it. we are now midway through our visit. the weeks are passing by quickly. i see my parents every other day and have observed their dance. i really see myself in both of them, and both of them in me. they are wonderful to experience and am enjoying every minute of being close to them. i always felt one step off-beat with my family, or them with me...as if we weren't ever quite in sync. maybe just perception, but it has always been around family when i felt my own uniqueness the most. but as we explore eachother, i believe we are finding understanding and finding the places where we intersect, as relatives and as people. this is priceless beyond words.

i find the most important thing, especially toward the end of life, but always, really, is compassion. we may not understand what drives one another, but there can always be kindness. i feel endless compassion for my parents. i see frustration and impatience between them, though i think its human nature at this stage. despite this, i see them being who they are, doing their best with the circumstances they have. while it could be easy to criticize, it is hard to say we would behave any different at their age. and they are quite remarkable in their own way. and when we all laugh together, or share a story, or witness our own humanity, it is magic.

there are three more months of our scheduled time here...so much more to absorb of this place, it's openness, the expanse of space and mountains and lakes, and of the people in my family that are so treasured to me. i know this is already a place i don't want to leave...and yet, i know there is another life waiting out there for casey and i to begin again. if only i can be in two places at once.


i'll let casey continue with the rest of our story, and all else that has been 'revealed'. am hoping that you are all well and enjoying your lives. am missing you all!!! xoxo




All Things Revealed, Part Two:


While we've been loving the discovery of this part of the country, I've also been absorbed with what comes next. I've heard back from all four schools that I applied to, and I was happily accepted by two: Oregon and CCA in San Francisco. Berkeley didn't take me, which was my first choice due to the quality and the price. CCA is equally amazing program, but the price is off the charts. Oregon is a good program, mid-priced, but comes with a hidden cost: moving to Eugene.


A big thing that has been revealed to Jen and I through all this is that the Bay Area is our Home. It's what we know, where our community is, and where we envision ourselves growing old and living our life out. We love going away and traveling and seeing new places for long periods (in case you haven't noticed!), but we always relish coming Home, to the Bay Area. This realization has driven a hard decision, based on future struggles due to indebtedness. But if there's a place where I'd have to hustle to make it, and be tapped in to the movements to better our life and the environment, the Bay is the place to do it! No?


So, the plan is set: Our lease is up at the end of June here, and we know now that we are traveling the width of the country once again, ending up at Oaktown. My plan is to try and keep as many options open as possible. I'm going to start at CCA in the summer, for an intensive 3 week session. After that, I might be taking a "leave of absence" from the program for a year, giving me time to make/find/borrow/steal monies enough to afford CCA. I might also reapply to Berkeley and give it another shot. This gives Jen the opportunity to work for better wages, continue her journey in nutrition and community, and who knows: we may even get into the housing market while the gettin's good!


Through all of this I've also discovered something about myself that I wasn't sure about: Architecture is definitely the course of my life's work. I find myself getting sucked more and more into its world, the immense opportunity to design a better world and the people that are well on their way, the lessons to learn, the real looming threat of climate change that we too readily ignore for the sake of its reality. Humans are great at Head-in-Sand action. Perhaps we are wired to dismiss threats until they are right upon us. Not to say we didn't build defenses against the lions on the plains, but we didn't run until they broke through the walls... Same goes for sea level rise and CO2 emissions. Economic Collapse... all that. We'll deny its happening until its happened and then look around surprised we were caught off guard. I feel that I can see enough now to know that I must keep at it, until we adapt, survive, and thrive in This Life!